England third best? Italy must be quaking

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What kind of computer software are the Fifa geeks using to conclude that the English are the third best team on the planet? More pertinently, what are they smoking?

Whatever it is, they must have consumed copious amounts during Euro 2012 to avoid watching Roy Hodgson’s men play a warped version of musical statues.

Hodgson's men will participate in an out-of-place friendly tomorrow morning (Singapore time), just days before the start of the EPL season.

As a result, there hasn’t been this many sudden sick notes since half my PE class went down with groin strains when a pretty nursing intern joined the school.