Extraordinarily ordinary
There was a time when pop stars were glamorous gods and goddesses, but those days are over. Now, they're just as goofy as us
Being a sex bomb was once a big part of being a chart-topper.
Not any more.
Check out this week's Billboard 200 album chart and what you will see is a collection of wonderful misfits.
Few of these people look like Elvis, Donna Summer, Duran Duran or Britney Spears.
A lot of them are as dorky as you and me.
At No. 1, you will find the pasty gremlins of Fall Out Boy.
At No. 3 is Meghan Trainor, the poster girl for full-figured ladies.
At No. 4 is the fleshy ginger-haired Ed Sheeran.
Of course, elfin princess Taylor Swift is at No. 2, but even she has to pretend to be normal to get along in today's pop scene.
Here, we pay tribute to the ordinary guys and gals kicking pop music's pert butt.
THE GINGER
ED SHEERAN
X (CURRENTLY AT NO. 4 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUM CHART)
Look, I have nothing against gingers. I'm practically a ginger. The fact remains, however, that it's super rare to see a red-headed pop star. Especially one who looks like a muppet.
English singer Sheeran has had unbelievable success despite the fact that he looks like a friend zone lifer.
X has been on the charts for 31 weeks and has spawned the hit singles Sing, Don't and Thinking Out Loud.
THE GREMLINS
FALL OUT BOY
AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO (CURRENTLY AT NO. 1 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUM CHART)
The US rock quartet are so goofy looking that they barely let you see lead singer Patrick Stump, though in fairness the once-tubby vocalist has lost a ton of weight.
They made their passably-cute bassist Pete Wentz the band's spokesman, which is obviously a pathetic and desperate gambit. I mean, the bassist?
Be that as it may, Fall Out Boy found incredible success in the Noughties and have had a great comeback over the past couple of years.
Their new album American Beauty/American Psycho has built on the momentum of their latest single Centuries to hit the top spot.
These guys may not look like a boy band, but that's a good thing - ugly dudes know how to rock.
THE EVERYMAN
SAM SMITH
IN THE LONELY HOUR (CURRENTLY AT NO. 9 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUM CHART)
Smith is the world's most ordinary-looking man. If you were to create a photo composite of every British male face, it would look like Smith's face.
He looks exactly like the sort of guy who would be called Sam Smith - the single most ordinary name in the universe.
Luckily for Mr Smith, his voice is anything but ordinary.
He has rocketed to international fame on the strength of In The Lonely Hour, which has been on the charts for 32 weeks and spawned hits such as Stay With Me and I'm Not The Only One.
Not bad for someone who looks like he should be running a fish and chips shop in Kent.THE BASSIST
MEGHAN TRAINOR
TITLE (CURRENTLY AT NO. 3 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUM CHART)
Last summer, the US singer burst onto the scene with her mega hit All About That Bass, an ode to big butts. The fact that she herself actually has a big butt helped her credibility immensely.
There has been a lot of talk about Trainor's curves in the meantime, but her follow-up hit Lips Are Movin helped change the conversation.
Her debut album Title came out just last week and zoomed to No. 1 on Billboard, knocking skinny Swift's 1989 from its perch.
Its success proves that Trainor is definitely for real and that looking like a "real woman" is no hindrance in today's pop scene.
THE SHORTIE
ARIANA GRANDE
MY EVERYTHING (CURRENTLY AT NO. 22 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUM CHART)
The US actress-singer may be as pretty as a fairy, but she's also as tiny as a fairy, standing at just 1.53m.
Grande started off on the Nickelodeon channel with the shows Victorious and Sam & Cat and there was no indication that the diminutive doofus would ever become a goddess of song.
Over the past year, the pint-sized powerhouse has wowed the world with hits like Love Me Harder.
Don't love her TOO hard, though - she looks super fragile.
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