Ten things we hate about going to the cinema
It's the long weekend and many who are staying in Singapore will be hitting the cinemas for the latest big screen action. But that does not mean a pleasant experience is guaranteed...
One of the greatest mysteries of modern times is why some people do not know how to behave in the cinema.
Maybe it's because the public service announcements are more annoying than informative.
Maybe it's just because some people have a mental disconnect that makes them think that the ticket price entitles them to treat the cinema hall as their own lounge.
There are plenty of horrors that await the average cinema goer.
We don't need to know your dinner plans or the latest adventures of your social circle. Unless you are a doctor on call, there's no need to press the green button.
And those who think that texting is okay because it's silent are just as bad.
Anyone behind the texter (or social media updater) will have their concentration disrupted by the retina-searing backlight. Even on a dim setting, screens still seem to have more light than a 1,000 suns.
And really, Facebook can wait.
As a side note, if you are asked politely to turn your phone off, do not be offended. You are not having your personal liberty infringed upon. You are just being annoying.
2. WHISPERING AND CHATTERING
So many experts. Where this actor is from, his previous films, what's going to happen next, who you saw on the street five minutes ago...
If you're bored, leave the cinema. Don't worry, the rest of the audience will be able to pick up what's going on even without your commentary.
The basic rule is once the film starts, your chatter stops.
We get enough sensurround from the speakers, thanks. We don't need your fidgeting to help recreate air turbulence or the bumps of a car chase.
4. UNCONTROLLABLE CHILDREN
Here's a hint for parents: If your child acts up, take him outside. Do not, we repeat, DO NOT smack him in his seat. The audience can do without 15 minutes of air raid siren-like wailing.
5. NOISY SNACKING
If it isn't the open-mouthed nacho-crunching or the drain-like gurgling of someone trying to suck up every last drop of his huge drink, then it's the plastic bag rustling.
Part of the blame lies with cinema chains. Surely they know how noisy these containers are. Isn't it time to source for some quieter packaging?
6. FREQUENT TOILET TRIPS
Unless you know you can contain that seemingly half-gallon that makes up a large drink in the cinema, choose a seat at the sides, preferably near the exit.
7. PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
Ah, young love. It's great that you have found that special someone. But seriously, get a room. Chances are, you aren't Taylor and Calvin lookalikes, so frankly, we don't want to see it. And we really don't want to hear it.
8. KEEPING IT FRESH
So a movie isn't a black tie occasion but try wearing some fresh clothes anyway.
If you have a tendency to burp and break wind, do everyone a favour - stay home and stream.
And as much as some people revere the sanctity of the cinema hall, it is not a temple — keep your shoes ON.
9. ARMREST HOGGERS
Wars have been started over smaller areas. If we had wanted the company, we would have made other arrangements.
10. SICK PATRONS
The hacking and the occasional spray from someone who didn't get their hand to their mouth in time can really spoil one's mood — and clothes. If we want to get an MC, we will pretend to be ill like everybody else.