They look better than they sound
Our resident DJ/journo gives props to 90s-era superstars Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey
Two beloved divas from the 90s are back - Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez are both releasing new albums this month.
Carey's is called Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse.
It's a pretty dumb name for an album!
JLo went in the other direction and just called hers AKA.
I guess that's AKA as in "also known as", because she has so many nicknames and aliases such as Lola, Jenny from the Block, Butts Supreme, Booty Patootie and Princess Bum-Bums.
Carey has been releasing singles over the past months from the album, such as Beautiful, The Art Of Letting Go and You're Mine (Eternal).
Unfortunately, none of them managed to cause much of a stir.
JLo released the singles Same Girl, Girls and I Luh Ya Papi.
Overall, I'd have to say I like Lopez's new work a lot better. She puts a lot of oomph into everything she does. She's not the most talented singer, but she still has verve for sure.
Carey sounds like she doesn't have a clue what to do with herself these days - her new stuff sounds tired and melancholy.
She still has a beautiful voice, but she doesn't reach for the stars like she did earlier in her career.
Is it a physical thing with her pipes, or is she just bored? Who's to say?
Anyway, the one thing I think we can all agree on is that their new album covers are very hot indeed.
Both women are 44 years old and yet they still look absolutely stunning.
Of course, both covers have been retouched to the point that they're more like paintings than photographs, but that's okay.
Carey's makes her look like a mermaid just emerging from the sea, offering herself up to hunky sailors.
Indeed, I think she has a thing for mermaids - she dressed up as one in her music video for You're Mine (Eternal).
It's really just so serene and lovely and I love the little touches like the shooting star in the background.
Carey might not look exactly like this, but I bet this is exactly how her soul looks - all ethereal and stuff.
As for JLo, you've got your cleavage, you've got your under-boob, you've got your side boob.
Just all kinds of boob, basically. Makes for a powerful statement indeed.
All that gold and red just looks so lush and rich and royal.
I bet they spent more time on these covers than they did on any individual song on their albums.
The tunes are like, whatever, so the images better look good.