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Abuse is...

POWER AND CONTROL

The Wheel of Violence shows how abuse takes many forms, and may not necessarily involve direct physical contact

INTIMIDATION

Making her afraid by:

• Using looks, actions, gestures

• Smashing things

• Destroying her property

• Abusing pets

• Displaying weapons

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• Putting her down

• Making her feel bad about herself

• Calling her names

• Making her think she's crazy

• Playing mind games

• Humiliating her

• Making her fell guilty

ISOLATION

• Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes

• Limiting her outside involvement

• Using jealousy to justify actions

MINIMISING, DENYING AND BLAMING

• Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously

• Saying the abuse didn't happen

• Shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour

• Saying she caused it

USING CHILDREN

• Making her feel guilty about the children

• Using the children to relay messages

• Using visitations to harass her

• Threatening to take the children away

USING MALE PRIVILEGE

• Treating her like a servant

• Making all the big decisions

• Acting like the master of the castle

• Being the one to define men's and women's roles

ECONOMIC ABUSE

• Preventing her from getting or keeping a job

• Making her ask for money

• Giving her an allowance

• Taking her money

• Not letting her know about or have access to family income

COERCION AND THREAT

• Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her

• Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare

• Making her drop charges

• Making her do illegal things