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BDSM versus no BDSM

It was Fifty Shades Of Grey that led this married couple of 15 years to engage a dominatrix.

After Madam Chelsea Ng and Mr Terence Sim read the steamy novel in 2012, they were inspired to dabble in some BDSM to up the ante of their sex life.

Once they hired a man to join them, and later, a woman. They have not looked back since. The couple described their experiences with the two as "exhilarating, thrilling, and enjoyable".

Said Madam Ng, a property agent: "It was satisfying, even though we were cautious, uncertain and a bit scared the first couple of times. After reading the book, I suggested to Terence that we could consider a whole new aspect of sex."

"He then read the book and was very excited. He was more excited than I was," she revealed.

But adult toys are not new to the couple, who are both 46 and have no children.

Madam Ng, who disclosed that she and her architect husband now spend $500 a month on intimate toys, said the lovemaking props have always been a part of their sex life.

She said: "It added much oomph to our relationship, especially in bed. BDSM just took our sex life to the next level."

And even though they own a generous stash of sexy paraphernalia, new buys still get their pulses racing.

She said: "Let's just say that each time a new sex toy arrives in the mail, Terence and I can't wait to get home."


There is no need to delve into BDSM just to spice up the marriage, said one Singaporean couple.

Ms Yanna and Mr Danial, who wanted to be known only by their first names, said "they never had to do anything differently."

Ms Yanna, a 35-year-old housewife, told The New Paper on Sunday: "Both of us are happy with our conventional bedroom fun.

"It's not that we are not as exciting, but conventional sex really isn't as boring as some married couples make it out to be.

"It is precisely because sex happens less often now (because of the children) that it becomes all the more exciting."

Ms Yanna gave birth to their first child about five years ago and their second, two years ago.

Mr Danial, a corporate communications manager, 39, joked: "I don't think I need to whip Yanna to get her into bed with me.

"At least not yet."

The pair said intimacy is "as healthy as it was when they tied the knot in 2008".

He said: "We used to have sex about three times a week when we first got married.

"Now, we get it on about thrice a fortnight because we are both exhausted from work and Yanna from looking after the children."

So are they keen to incorporate BDSM themes into their sex life?

Ms Yanna said: "Knowing us, we'll probably start laughing at each other because we won't have a clue how to use (the tools).

"Best to leave all the Fifty Shades-type of kinky stuff to directors and authors - because we probably won't do BDSM justice. They definitely do a better job at it."