Needling CNN on its extensive reporting on missing flight MH370:
"I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days. "
Poking fun at news station MSNBC for its lower ratings with US viewers:
"MSNBC is here - they're a little overwhelmed. They've never seen an audience this big before."
Making a reference to the National Security Agency's mass surveillance programme:
"Colorado legalised marijuana this year. I hope it doesn't lead to a bunch of paranoid people who think the government is out to get them, and listening to their phone calls."
On his adversarial relationship with Fox News:
"Let's face it, Fox, you'll miss me when I'm gone. It'll be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya."
On Republicans blocking his bid to raise the minimum wage:
"If you want to get paid for not working, you should run for Congress just like everyone else."
On Donald Trump's campaign against Mr Obama, alleging that the US President isn't American:
"An American won the Boston Marathon for the first time in 40 years, which was inspiring and only fair since a Kenyan has been President for the past six."
Exiting the stage
At the end of Mr Obama's speech, he introduced a video clip that stalled and failed, a wink at the roll-out problems Healthcare.gov encountered. Former Health and Human Services secretary Kathleen Sebelius appeared to save the day.