Want great sex? Talk about it

When it comes to achieving a fulfilling love life, it seems communication is sexy.

Marriage counsellor John Vasavan, said: "As long as the pair is prepared to spice up their sex life, and if they are talking about it, chances are, things will indeed spice up."

Close to half of the 506 Singaporeans surveyed in the 2012 Durex global sexual well-being survey believe they become better husbands, wives or partners when they have good sex lives.

But the problem is, few couples talk about sex.

In Singapore, only 22 per cent of those surveyed said they talk to their partners in a bid to spice things up.

And about the same proportion said they go online to learn more about being intimate with their partners.

Mr Vasavan, who has been advising couples for more than 20 years, said intimacy is an integral part of a marriage.

"It is an opportunity for them to unleash their sexual desires and explore each other with non-verbal communication," he said.


If the sex gets boring and is affecting the marriage, couples should try different things, advised Mr Vasavan.

"Couples should do whatever they feel comfortable with and consent to.

"BDSM is an option (of something different). If they do decide on it, communication should continuously flow because both of them need to tell each other what they like and what they don't.

"They also need to make sure they are mentally and physically prepared."

Are Singaporeans keen?

One in four said yes to experimenting with adult toys and about one in 10 said yes to role-playing games.

The counsellor reiterated that trying to improve one's sex life is a method of improving the marriage.

Mr Vasavan said: "The action-response process by one party to another during sex is part of the communication that leads to bonding."

"When there is bonding, there is love."