Neil Humphreys' five likely FA Cup upsets
Surprises are in store for this weekend's FA Cup third-round matches
Manchester City have got more holes than Donald Trump's hairline and Aston Villa are about as imbalanced as a one-legged juggler on a tightrope.
So FA Cup third-round upsets are surely on the cards.
Here are my contenders for a possible early exit and eternal humiliation.
If you put your house on this lot, I hope you've got somewhere to stay on Monday morning…
1 Norwich v Man City
This is an all-Premier League clash, obviously, but City are the overwhelming favourites to progress.
Indeed the dead man walking, Manuel Pellegrini, hopes that he might leave with an FA Cup included in his City obituary.
However, the bumpkin billionaires played like paupers in midweek. Their defeat by Everton showcased the side's underlying problems.
Last summer, Martin Demichelis had his bags packed after enduring the sort of season that suggested he'd wandered onto the Etihad pitch in a City jersey to win a bet and no one noticed.
Now, the 35-year-old veteran is a tube of silicone, ready to be squirted into the latest defensive gap.
He failed against Everton, losing Romelu Lukaku for the winning goal, but he'll be fielded against Norwich nonetheless.
With Eliaquim Mangala and Vincent Kompany both injured, Demichelis will line up with former Argentina teammate Nicolas Otamendi in a bid to silence the Canaries.
Sergio Aguero lacks match fitness and Yaya Toure sleepwalks through contests like a bad audition for the Walking Dead.
The odds still favour City, but Norwich will never get a better opportunity to rip open Manchester's moneybags.
2 Wycombe v Aston Villa
Villa manager Remi Garde has pulled off a feat in taking over a relegation-threatened side. He's made them even more wretched than before.
Villa might still beat the drop, just as American Republicans might agree to greater gun control. But it's highly unlikely.
Garde still hasn't won a game. He took over on Nov 2 and engineered four draws and five losses in his nine games in charge.
So he faces a tricky dilemma. Save face or save Villa's season.
Victory breaks the personal losing streak, but he'll need to err on the side of caution and field his strongest 11. Should he encounter any first-team injuries, on the other hand, then he can kiss away any remaining hopes of staying up.
EPL survival is the priority, but pride must be messing with his head.
A win against Wycombe buys him time, but he must also focus on the Crystal Palace game on Tuesday.
The Wanderers are comfortably ensconced in the League Two play-off spots and will enjoy home advantage and a rowdy atmosphere.
In the UK, this fixture was picked as a live TV game with good reason. Villa are mortally wounded souls heading into the long goodnight.
The threat of further humiliation hangs in the air.
3 Birmingham v Bournemouth
Birmingham have a point to prove. Back in October 2014, high-flying Bournemouth turned up at St Andrew's and left with three points, eight goals scored and none conceded.
With clubs going in opposite directions at the time, they met at a crossroads. Eddie Howe's men were on a march to the Premier League. Birmingham were a mess.
Current manager Gary Rowett seeks to downplay the significance of that harrowing defeat, but the fans aren't buying it. They demand revenge.
The Cherries are without key forward Joshua King and, like Norwich, have different priorities.
A fixture against West Ham on Tuesday is swiftly following by a proverbial six-pointer against the Canaries.
He'll say otherwise, but Howe won't be unduly concerned by the outcome of this third-round clash. Expect him to rest players.
Birmingham can have their vengeance, if it means the Cherries survive at the end of the season.
4 West Ham v Wolves
The Hammers are sixth in the table and in fine form.
The Hammers are at home. The Hammers are the overwhelming favourites. So, obviously, the Hammers must lose.
West Ham struggle with the "favourites" tag, explaining their dreadful cup record in the last, ooh, 100 years or so.
Heavy lies the burden of expectation at Upton Park. They only sing when they're shocking.
Wolves are quietly progressing under Kenny Jackett, winning three on the spin since Christmas.
Ironically, West Ham's traditional Achilles' heel, their defence, has been tightened under Slaven Bilic, a former centre-back of course.
But the loss of injured trio Manuel Lanzini, Victor Moses and Diafra Sakho reduces their attacking options, leaving West Ham reliant upon Andy Carroll.
As his manager alluded to this week, the pony-tailed totem pole is either inspired or anonymous.
If the latter shows up, Wolves may smell the blood of erratic Englishmen.
5 Tottenham v Leicester
Pedantic readers will argue that this fixture hardly constitutes an upset either way, but Leicester have dominated discussion all season long.
They are still, lest we forget, only two points off the summit and legitimate top-four contenders.
However, they do not quite boast the leading contender for manager of the season.
Despite his reserved demeanour, Mauricio Pochettino quietly impresses with each game as Spurs stealthily climb the table.
Operating on a fraction of the resources available to clubs in Manchester and West London, Tottenham are perhaps the easiest on the eye and the most unerring in front of goal.
Dele Alli has made himself a contender for both Young Player and Player of the Year honours and Harry Kane is being fashioned into the most accomplished English centre-forward since Alan Shearer.
In the shadows, Pochettino pulls at the strings, getting more from Christian Eriksen and Erik Lamela, while handing playmaking duties to a 19-year-old Alli.
Leicester, who are without injured top scorer Jamie Vardy tonight, have picked up the plaudits, but Tottenham will pick out a path to the fourth round.
Blades can't wait to cut down Red Devils
THIRD ROUND
MAN UNITED v SHEFFIELD UNITED (Tomorrow, 1.20am, Singtel TV Ch 109)
Sheffield United are confident of making Manchester United's "sticky season" even worse, with captain Jay McEveley saying all the pressure is on their FA Cup third-round opponents.
Louis van Gaal's side have struggled this campaign, with the pressure intensifying after they ended 2015 without a win in eight matches - their worst run since 1989-90.
Last weekend's victory over Swansea alleviated the pressure slightly, but League One side Sheffield United, eighth in the third-tier division, are hoping to pile it back on again.
The Blades reached last season's League Cup semi-finals and the final-four juncture of the FA Cup the year before that, so McEveley, 30, knows better than most the key to causing an upset.
"I think it was about going in relaxed - no pressure on you at all," the defender (left) said of their recent cup successes.
"We're a League One club and all the pressure is on them on Saturday.
"They've had a sticky season so far, to say the least, but we know what qualities they possess.
"We've got to be aware of that but, again, we go there relaxed because there's no pressure on us.
"I am sure (their form) can (be exploited). We are working on things, our game plan, on how we can cause them problems.
"We're not just going to go there, sit back and let them have all of the ball and not get in their faces at all. We'll do that at the right time.
"We've got a game plan, we're going to stick to it. We can score goals, we can cause teams problems with the players we've got and we're going to go there and try to do that."
- PA Sport.
Sanchez won't be risked against Black Cats
THIRD ROUND
ARSENAL v SUNDERLAND (Tonight, 10.55pm, Singtel TV Ch 109)
Arsene Wenger has confirmed Alexis Sanchez will not be risked in Arsenal's FA Cup third-round clash with Sunderland tonight.
The 27-year-old missed the entire festive fixture list due to a hamstring injury suffered in November.
Sanchez (above) was expected to make his comeback for the win over title rivals Manchester City before Christmas, but suffered a setback in his recovery.
In his absence, Arsenal have opened up a two-point lead at the top of the Premier League and start their FA Cup defence against strugglers Sunderland tonight.
Wenger is not ready to rush Sanchez back into his side with crucial league fixtures to come and a Champions League tie against the Chile international's former club Barcelona on the horizon.
"The bad news of the week is that Alexis is not quite ready," the Gunners boss said. "It is a precaution because of his hamstring, and it takes a few more days. He's not bad but he's not ready.
"The thinking is to give absolutely everything to qualify.
"We are the holders of the cup and I know as well by experience that it is very important that you get in the competition and that you have a successful third round. It's a tricky one, always, the third round."
There is better news for Mikel Arteta, who is available after a calf injury, while Tomas Rosicky, Santi Cazorla and Francis Coquelin are still recovering from their knee issues.
- PA Sport.
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