Mourinho tries to mask Chelsea's mess by whining
Chelsea boss' dull whining can't mask mess on and off the pitch
MAN CITY 3
(Sergio Aguero 31, Vincent Kompany 79, Fernandinho 85)
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise they'll kill you.
Oscar Wilde said that, but Jose Mourinho long ago adapted the sentiment.
The Chelsea manager preferred the big lie. If you want to lie to people, make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll sack you.
And he got away with it. With the twinkling eyes and impudent grin, the handsome, erudite man dropped quirky quotes to slavish scribblers.
The barefaced lies were backed up with one-liners. The ranting was usually watered down with a little wit. A sense of humour so often saved Mourinho.
At times, he got away with murder.
Now, he's boring. His tantrums are tedious and his audience is less forgiving. If he continues to sound like a broken record, his commitment to Chelsea will be questioned.
After Sunday's humiliating 3-0 loss at Manchester City, he taunted his opposite number by calling it a "fake result". But Manuel Pellegrini had the last laugh.
In defeat, Mourinho lost his dignity once more. His silly lies and rewriting of recent history can no longer be swallowed when the truth is so unpalatable.
Mourinho's Blues are in a bit of a mess. On the pitch and in the press conference, common sense is proving hard to come by.
Their manager can shout and stomp his feet like a petulant child demanding a lollipop, but he can't silence his critics. The manner of this loss rankles.
In a column last week, the Cesc Fabregas conundrum was highlighted but it was savagely exposed at Man City.
The Spaniard's sorcery usually masks his defensive frailties, but faster, direct opponents exploit his weakness. He backtracks with the grace and consistency of a blindfolded bear in the woods.
Yaya Toure and Fernandinho romped through the gap, poking away at Chelsea's Achilles' heel with sticks.
Chelsea's obvious flaw presented itself in pre-season, when Mourinho's concerns over John Terry's speed and fitness became obvious in North America.
Nemanja Matic supported Fabregas last season, but he couldn't carry his skipper as well at the Etihad Stadium. The Serb popped up just about everywhere, but he's not omnipresent.
Chelsea can afford one passenger through the spine. Against City, they clearly laboured with two. Inspired last season, Terry and Fabregas may soon become liabilities.
Ask Branislav Ivanovic. He was last seen slipping into Raheem Sterling's pocket.
What's past isn't a prologue in the Premier League. It's obsolete. And Mourinho knows it, his anger clearly flowing through every throbbing vein and poisonous outburst.
He can't nail down John Stones. Nor can he prop up central midfield or find a support act for the fragile and always volatile Diego Costa, who showed at City that for all his aggression, he won't reach the apex occupied by Sergio Aguero.
When Mourinho doesn't get his own way, either on the pitch or in the transfer market, he lashes out, playing the classroom bully pinching crayons just because he can.
His nasty treatment of Chelsea's demoted medical team was as petulant as it was pathetic, surprising the dressing room and alienating much of what was left of his neutral fanbase.
Fans are suckers for flamboyant showmen in the dugout. They are less tolerant of vindictive, petty bullies.
Mourinho continues to take unwarranted potshots at his contemporaries. Each attack is duller than the one before and his eagerness to insult Arsene Wenger looks ever more like an obsessive, personal vendetta.
Perhaps Wenger lacks Mourinho's ruthlessness - though that's a questionable assertion - but the Arsenal manager has never lost what is increasingly eluding the Chelsea manager - his dignity.
When Arsenal's trophy drought persisted, Wenger maintained his composure and the respect of his peers for more than a decade.
And yet, two games without victory, two sterile displays, two demoted doctors and two struggling veterans leave Mourinho foaming at the mouth, serving up silly sound bites and coming second only to fingernails on a blackboard when it comes to irritating an audience.
He's following a familiar pattern. When he's out of ideas or options, he falls back on the outbursts. It buys him time at the expense of his popularity. And when Mourinho feels he is no longer loved, he usually leaves the club.
Chelsea fans could be forgiven for feeling a sense of deja vu.
John Terry substitution at half-time
"I know that (Kurt) Zouma is the fastest defender we have in the squad. In that moment, Manchester City were going to play counter-attacking. I knew they were going to play long balls to Sergio Aguero. Zouma is a different player to John Terry and Gary Cahill. It was proven completely right because Zouma was completely in control."
Trust in Terry
"I can tell you that he was not dancing in the dressing room, and I can tell you also that he was not having a bad reaction. John is Chelsea captain for sure and he is a player with my entire confidence for sure."
The 'fake' result
"The best team in the first half won the game. The best team in the second half were Chelsea, for sure... If the 1-0 was a doubtful result at minute 70, 75 the 3-0 is completely fake because at 1-0 Chelsea were the better team in the whole second half."
Mourinho's claim that the 3-0 result was 'fake'
"I think in the first half we deserved at least three or four goals. The second half was more equal and Chelsea played better... I think today our team played better and 3-0 is the minimum we deserved."
"I think Sergio Aguero is in the best moment of his career. He is a very important player for us. He showed that also last year. He was the top scorer. I believe this season he can be even better."
HOW TO CURE CHELSEA'S ILLS
PROBLEM: A creaking defence on the pitch - shipping five goals in their opening two league games.
CURE: Cough up the cash to secure John Stones' signature from rivals Everton. Mourinho bemoaned a lack of pace in the back four, leading to the substitution of captain John Terry (above) at half-time - surely a not-so subtle message to owner Roman Abramovich.
PROBLEM: A creaking defence off the pitch - Mourinho needs to admit when his side are second best.
CURE: Replace rose-tinted spectacles with new, clean and clear ones. The Blues boss (above) has made a name for himself down the years as a man who will stick by his team but claiming the result against City was "fake" was a strange call.
PROBLEM: Slow-starting stars - trusted players not hitting the ground running in title defence.
CURE: Not an obvious treatment for this one.
Stick the likes of Cesc Fabregas (above, left), Eden Hazard and Diego Costa in a dark room in Cobham and put on last year's season review DVD? That should reawaken a few good memories.
PROBLEM: Faltering forwards - no goals from the front men is a striking issue.
CURE: Change of system. Costa (above) seemed more interested in picking a fight than rescuing Chelsea on Sunday. He has not scored this season, with Loic Remy and Radamel Falcao also goalless after the opening two league fixtures. Switching to two up front may help.
PROBLEM: Making a point - one point from two games means it is Chelsea's worst start to a season since 1998-99.
CURE: Keep calm and carry on. Although everyone at the club would have expected more, their opening two fixtures were not easy games. West Brom away could prove another test on Sunday. But Tony Pulis' side, including striker Saido Berahino (above) have yet to score after two games. A convincing win for Chelsea would address several issues in one go.
- PA Sport.
Chelsea sign Ghanaian defender Rahman
Chelsea have agreed a deal for Augsburg left back Baba Rahman, the German side have announced.
The Premier League champions will sign the 21-year-old Ghanaian for an undisclosed fee.
Rahman played 31 games for Augsburg last season after joining from German second division side Greuther Furth. Rahman, who was left out of Augsburg's 1-0 Bundesliga defeat by Hertha Berlin on Saturday so he could complete the formalities of the move, cost Augsburg 2.5 million euros ($4m) last summer.
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho said: "It is important because he is a left back. He can compete with (Cesar) Azpilicueta.
"At the same time, Azpilicueta can compete with (Branislav) Ivanovic for the right-back position, so he replaces Filipe Luis in the balance of the squad."
- PA Sport.
BY THE numbers
Chelsea captain John Terry was replaced by Kurt Zouma at half-time against Man City. It was the first time Jose Mourinho had ever substituted Terry in the latter's 177 appearances under him at Chelsea.