Neil Humphreys: For Bayern, the only way is Jupp
Bavarian giants are on course for a Treble again under veteran coach Heynckes
Pep Guardiola is the Messiah. No, he's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy.
Cristiano Ronaldo is the overhead-kicking king of Europe. No, Lionel Messi is the one true god of Champions League greatness.
- Bayern lead 2-1 after first leg
As the superlatives get tossed around in a sea of hyperbole, the Bayern boys are sitting on the proverbial beach, sipping non-alcoholic cocktails and toasting their title success.
While the Champions League talk focuses on La Liga's glittering individuals, the grittiest team left in the competition talk Trebles.
Bayern Munich are once again greater than the sum of their parts.
Their coach, Jupp Heynckes, has tinkered until his side represented the avuncular man in the mirror: resolute, committed, older, wiser, a little craggy around the edges but devoted to the cause.
Guardiola gets the gushing commentaries. Heynckes quietly gets the job done. The 72-year-old prepares for Sevilla's visit tomorrow (Singapore time) knowing that there are whispers of a second Treble under him.
Confidence is so high that the men in suits have tweaked their Bavarian motto Mia san Mia, which means "We are who we are", defining Bayern's unity.
Now the slogan Mia san Meister is slapped across every poster. It means "We are masters".
They are now the masters of unity. No one brings a group of disparate footballers together quite like Heynckes, who has the ruddy-cheeked demeanour of a beloved grandfather.
But Bayern's steady transformation was underpinned by his Teutonic steeliness.
When he succeeded Carlo Ancelotti in October, the Bundesliga powerbrokers were broken. They were, to quote club president Uli Hoeness, "in the s***".
Five points behind Borussia Dortmund, Bayern were brushed aside by Paris Saint-Germain in the group stages. Obituaries were being written.
Germany looked no country for old men like Franck Ribery (35), Arjen Robben (34) and Arturo Vidal (30). Most of the first XI are tiptoeing towards their 30s.
So Bayern's answer was to bring back the oldest man in town.
And Heynckes wrapped up the Bundesliga title with five games to spare. Bayern have a one-goal advantage over Sevilla and are still to play in the German Cup semi-finals.
But the accolades have largely eluded them. There's an underwhelming sense of order being restored, an inevitable course correction.
BACK WHERE THEY BELONG
Heynckes has performed to expectations. Bayern are back where they belong. There's nothing to see here.
Such eye-rolling indifference, however, does a disservice to both club and coach.
A similar analogy might be Sir Alex Ferguson returning after the David Moyes debacle in 2014 and taking Manchester United back to the summit.
Bayern's five-point deficit in October is now a 20-point advantage. Heynckes has won 19 of 22 league games. He's unbeaten in all competitions at home.
The German side's upswing in fortunes wasn't so much a course correction as it was a minor metamorphosis.
To borrow that Ferguson analogy again, Bayern's title success echoes that of United in 2013; a group of older, established pros keeping their game simple, sharing a collective ethos and doing it one more time for their retiring coach.
It's a quite brilliant return to basics.
Before Christmas, Ribery and Robben were expected to move on. They are now considering contract extensions.
The wingers have chalked up 10 goals and eight assists between them, but in key contests. They are used sparingly. Both featured against Sevilla. Ribery grabbed two assists.
Heynckes pushed Javi Martinez back into a defensive midfield role, and sent Vidal further forward.
With added protection, Mats Hummels and Jerome Boateng returned to being the most reliable centre-back pairing in Europe.
A little old-school discipline hasn't gone amiss either. All meals must be taken together. Mobile phones are banned in the gym. And, most remarkably of all, Heynckes makes his multi-millionaires clean the dressing room.
Good luck with that one in the EPL. Perhaps it's a Germanic thing.
Hummels has publicly championed the return to discipline, structure, and shared responsibility: the hallmarks of success for both his club and country.
Bayern barely celebrated their title success. They believe their season starts only now. Again, it's a Germanic thing.
Nevertheless, unlike Real Madrid, Bayern have another title to celebrate.
Unlike both Real and Barcelona, the German side are not predominately reliant upon one genius in Europe (though James Rodriguez has been outstanding).
Unlike Manchester City, Heynckes' defence doesn't wilt under pressure.
And unlike Guardiola, Heynckes won the Treble at Bayern Munich.
With his wise old men peaking at the right time, there's a chance that history could repeat itself.