I'm BACK
Way back in the olden days, which is to say the 90s, Keanu Reeves could do no wrong.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - whoa.
Point Break - double whoa.
Speed - triple whoa!
The Matrix - quadruple whoa!
He even made that Paula Abdul video for Rush Rush something special.
Sadly, by the beginning of the new millennium, his luck ran out.
The Matrix sequels sucked.
Constantine kind of sucked.
The Day The Earth Stood Still really sucked.
47 Ronin super sucked.
A Scanner Darkly was awesome, but it was so weird that no one cared.
Basically, it's been really hard to be a Keanu fan over the past 14 years, but now that's about to change with John Wick.
As he famously says in the film's spectacularly fun trailer, "Yeah. I'm thinking I'm Back."
John Wick is like Taken, but with a puppy instead of a daughter.
Reeves stars as the title character, a former assassin whose final gift from his late wife (Bridget Moynahan) is a lovable beagle, Daisy.
When a scummy car thief (Game Of Thrones star Alfie Allen) cruelly kills Daisy, Wick goes all out for revenge.
For dog lovers, this could be the most plausible premise a movie has ever had.
He ends up having to kill a lot of extra dudes owing to the fact that the car thief's dad (Michael Nyqvist) is a bigtime Russian gangster.
Reeves had a great time playing the sensitive hitman.
"They're fun," he told the cinema website Movie Pilot in a recent interview. "With John Wick, I was attracted to his grief.
"I liked the intensity of his emotion."
Reeves spoke about Wicks' revenge for having his placid life violated as being akin to an "Old Testament force".
"I like the vulnerability and then the power to do something about it."
Vulnerability is of course the thing that has always separated Keanu from the usual pack of action heroes.
For a start, he doesn't even look like an action hero.
Where is the muscle?
Also, Keanu is a soulful, almost sorrowful looking fellow.
Though he's better-looking than all of us combined, we can still relate to him on a human level.
PERFECT CHOICE
This made him the perfect choice for John Wick, a guy who looks like an easy mark, then proves to be anything but.
"For me, that was part of the story," Reeves said in an interview with pop-culture website Crave Online.
"I always thought that when we meet John, he's kind of in this normal life.
"He's not an assassin. He's just a guy.
"Then you hear about his myth, then you see him in the shower [with his back covered in tattoos] and you think, 'Oh, he looks capable.'"
Keanu has made many different films in practically every genre, from dramas to romcoms to Shakespeare.
Yet audiences and critics alike seem to enjoy him most in his action flicks.
He looks really cool messing guys up.
So far, John Wick has been received with the warmest response Keanu has had in ages.
At the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, John Wick has a 100% Fresh rating, based on 14 reviews.
There aren't many reviews in yet, but when legit sources like Variety are already singing its praises, it's a good sign.
The general public are digging it too, as shown by the film's current 9.2 rating at the Internet Movie Database.
It's hard to believe that there's a generation of moviegoers out there who have no inkling of how transcendently cool this guy can be.
He's just turned 50, yet annoyingly, still looks in his 30s. He's still that lithe, graceful, competent fellow we met in Speed and The Matrix.
He may be a little slower, but he's also a little smarter.
"It's all about getting the rhythm," Reeves told the Los Angeles Times.
"With experience, you know a bit more about your body and where you have to end up.
"The timing is everything."
Indeed, the timing IS everything.
It's about time that Keanu Reeves gets back to being the superstar we all want him to be.
CYBER KEANU
Keanu Reeves may have had a rough run in cinemas over the past decade, but he's been a hit on the Internet. Here are some of our favourite cyber-Keanu memes and viral vids.
SAD KEANU
Back in 2010, a paparazzo snapped a photo of Reeves sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich and looking contemplative.
The photo ended up going viral when a cheeky Internet user added a caption to the picture reading, ""I really enjoy acting…Because when I act, I'm no longer me".
Other users started adding their own captions, and photoshopping Reeves into all sorts of improbable scenarios .
CONSPIRACY KEANU
This meme uses a very old screencap of Reeves in the film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, in which he wears a combined expression of shock, confusion and amazement.
The first caption added to the picture was, "What if we CAN breathe in space, and they just don't want us to escape".
Food for thought!
The fun continued with countless conspiracy theories shocking, confusing and amazing poor Reeves.
SUBWAY KEANU
As big a star as he is, Keanu still likes to use public transport.
While on a subway in New York, a fellow passenger took a video of Reeves sitting there minding his own business.
Then something beautiful happened. A woman laden with bags got on the train, and then Keanu - oblivious to the camera - offered her his seat.
It was a display of gallantry rarely seen in these vulgar times, and the video justifiably went viral.
GIVEAWAY: WIN JOHN WICK MOVIE TICKETS
We are giving away five pairs of John Wick movie tickets, courtesy of Golden Village Pictures.
Keanu Reeves can't get any more cooler as the titular hit man, who comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters who took everything from him.
Rated NC16 and opening here tomorrow, John Wick also stars Bridget Moynahan and Willem Dafoe.
TO WIN, ANSWER THIS QUESTION:
Name the actor who plays the titular hitman in the movie John Wick.
1. Willem Dafoe
2. Michael Nyqvist
3. Keanu Reeves
SMS your answer to 146077877 in the following format:
TNPMWICK
Each SMS costs $0.21 (with GST). Contest ends on Sunday, 11.59pm.
Get The New Paper on your phone with the free TNP app. Download from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store now