Movie review: Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard
Not even Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are bulletproof when it comes to career moves.
And whoever thought a cliched action comedy like 2017's The Hitman's Bodyguard needed or deserved a sequel - helmed by returning director Patrick Hughes - should be put on a very special hit list.
Still unlicensed, disgraced and under scrutiny, hapless bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is trying to get a "no guns, no blood" detox from his job, when he is forced into action by lethal hitman Darius Kincaid's (Samuel L. Jackson) even more volatile wife, the infamous con artist Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek). The trio soon get in over their heads in a global terrorist plot and find that they are all that stand between Europe and total chaos.
The odd couple from the original movie grow into a throuple, and the trio's combined star power and chemistry cannot be denied.
They look like they are having fun being that silly, but the material is beneath them.
Throughout the violent and vulgarity-laden high jinks, everyone yells and cusses at each other at the loudest volume, and that passes for banter.
We are assaulted with such an aggressive tone and a string of bloodbaths, explosions, high-speed car chases and boat escapades, we may find ourselves suffering from the side effects of numbness and fatigue while trying to take in the no-brainer entertainment.
Reynolds is in his element, dryly delivering his loser shtick and some of the best lines in the movie, which opens in cinemas here today.
Hayek gets more screen time this round, but it is a grating performance full of F-bombs, an obsession with her boobs and sexist, ageist Latina stereotypes.
Joining Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard is Antonio Banderas, who hams it up as the flamboyant villain. Yet, his scenes with frequent collaborator Hayek just remind you of their better work on Desperado, Frida, Once Upon A Time In Mexico and even Puss In Boots.
There is a pretty good laugh-out-loud moment involving new addition Morgan Freeman's first appearance, but we shall not spoil it.
In the end, this does make you wonder how Hollywood A-listers need to protect themselves better from such nonsense.
HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD (M18)