Rock isn't dead - it's undead
Our resident Kiss92 DJ-journo digs his teeth into the museum-grade sound stylings of elderly supergroup Hollywood Vampires
Is rock dead? Yes.
It has been for decades, but that's okay.
It's dead in the way that a vampire is dead, which is to say that it's undead.
It's static and cannibalistic yet powerful and immortal.
Like classical, jazz and every other form of music that has had its day in the sun, rock long ago became what it was meant to become and will now forever exist in a state of fully-realised Platonic perfection.
Rock will never get better than the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix or Led Zeppelin.
They are like Mozart, never to be surpassed.
Hollywood Vampires is the ideal avatar of rock's current state, in that rock has no relevant current state.
STUCK IN THE PAST
A classic rock covers band made up of legendary old-timey US superstars, they are defiantly stuck in the past.
The group began as a project between 70s goth rocker Alice Cooper and Hollywood actor Johnny Depp.
The pair met on the set of the latter's 2012 horror-comedy film Dark Shadows, which was, appropriately enough, a vampire flick.
It might seem like a weird collaboration, but Depp actually started out as a musician.
Guitarist Joe Perry (Aerosmith) came in as the third member, and then the trio were joined by a dream roster of illustrious guest stars - Paul McCartney (Beatles), Slash (Guns N' Roses) and others.
Their self-titled album, released last month, is no mere tribute but an authentic artefact.
Songs include a mix of hard-driving classics such as My Generation (The Who) and Break On Through (The Doors), as well as relatively obscure curiosities like Itchycoo Park (The Small Faces).
I would suggest you buy yourself an album, and then watch Hollywood Vampires on YouTube.
A couple of weeks back, they held a concert at music festival Rock In Rio and they tore the place apart.
Hollywood Vampires' dark glamour puts today's current crop of tepid, torpid "rock stars" to shame.
They are the source. The originals.
They're the Volturi,vampire royalty from the Twilight Saga movies.
I feel bad for the baby vamps.
There's no blood left to suck.