COMMENT: Don't film ranting racists on MRT, do something constructive

Spare a thought for the average racist. It's not a straightforward vocation anymore.

In the old days, racism was easier - you told someone to go back to wherever they came from and moved on with your day, without fear of going viral.

I can prove it. In 2011, I vividly recall being confronted beside the newspaper rack at the former Marine Parade Community Club.

An older lady and I both reached for The Straits Times and engaged in the following conversation:

Auntie: Eh, where you from ah?

Me: Bedok South.

Auntie: No, last time.

Me: Oh, last time… Toa Payoh Lorong 1.

Auntie: No last time.

Me: Oh, you mean before that … Toa Payoh Lorong 8.

Auntie: No, before that.

Me: Oh, you mean like last, last, last time?

Auntie: Yes!

Me: Africa.

Auntie: Heh. You should go back to where you came from.

She wasn't amused. But I didn't want to get into a difficult conversation about race and belonging. I just wanted to grab the sports section to see how many goals West Ham United had conceded.

And I'm certainly not playing the victim card either. I've written many columns highlighting and mocking my white privilege in Asia - something that has always bemused a council estate kid who left England, where he was looked down upon for his class, and arrived in Singapore, where he was looked up to (in some circles) because of his race.

'Go back to where you came from'

But I've always been tickled by the average racist's go-to demand:

Go back to where you came from.

It's like a fallback position. Whatever direction the awkward conversation takes, it usually ends with the same instruction.

It happened two weeks ago. In a viral video, an auntie on the MRT told a young woman to "go back to Malaysia", which sounds hilariously ironic.

"Going back to Malaysia" is what thousands of Singaporeans literally do every weekend.

And last week, in another viral video, an uncle on the MRT was caught on camera scolding people for having "grandparents all from China" - in a stern voice that my father might use with me for having "grandparents who were all Tottenham supporters".

MRT Uncle then went on to inform the strangers that they were not Singaporean, displaying the kind of data intelligence usually found in those eye scanners at Changi Airport.

If he's that accurate, then the folks at Immigration and Checkpoints Authority could save a fortune on surveillance software.

Just employ MRT Uncle to point at travellers and shout: "He's Singaporean… She's from China … He's got a grandfather who supports Tottenham."

He could provide an invaluable service for us all.

Incidentally, when these racist rants go viral and the culprits are in their autumnal years, there's often an apologist's tendency to dismiss the outbursts as a by-product of ageing or a loss of mental acuity.

If that was the case, why can't the outbursts be positive and uplifting? Why couldn't the MRT Uncle spot the Chinese folks and say, "You're from China? I love China! I get all my pirated movies from there!"

Life's not easy for racists in 2025

But a racist's life isn't an easy one in 2025. It's like being a stand-up comedian - everyone films your best lines and sticks them online.

Today, you've only got to tell someone to go back to their own country and your face is being pixelated on STOMP an hour later.

Seriously, if whipping out phones to record something incendiary was an Olympic sport, Singapore would have more gold medals than the Soviet dopers.

In the final shootout, we'd line up the competitors, hands by their hips, as the race starter says, "On your marks… get set … someone's doing something racist on the MRT!"

The phones would move faster than a speeding bullet.

In a Mission Impossible movie, when public safety is compromised, Tom Cruise jumps off a plane. On an MRT train, a phone jumps out of a pocket.

Perhaps there might be more constructive options.

A polite intervention?

A quiet word?

A discreet physical buffer between the perpetrator and victim?

A little levity even?

Whilst filming the incident feels like a positive contribution - and may offer useful evidence later - there's also the fear of doxxing or online vigilante campaigns to track down those involved. And mistaken identity happens more often than you might think.

A kind-hearted Singaporean once expressed her admiration that I'd appeared in an episode of the American sitcom Modern Family.

I hadn't.

It was a tall British actor called Stephen Merchant.

We bear no physical similarities beyond height and skin colour, so naming and shaming someone from shaky phone footage is always a risky business.

But racists should be called out - not online, but in the moment.

Silence is complicity, and filming alone doesn't count as a constructive intervention.

A bully's voice should never be the loudest in a crowded space.

And yes, I have a vested interest in this matter - because if Stephen Merchant ever abuses someone on the MRT, I'm screwed.

Neil Humphreys is an award-winning writer and radio host, a successful author and a failed footballer.