'It's like I'm left to deal with it alone': Experts warn of over-reliance on authorities in neighbourly disputes

As a Hougang resident walked past her neighbour's flat to get home in Feb 2013, she was spat on by her neighbour's mother and subjected to a string of expletives.

It was just one of the many physical and verbal confrontations between the two families amidst their long-standing dispute, which has gone on for 14 years now.

The resident, who only wished to be known as Ms Tang, 30, lives with her parents and experiences daily noise disturbances from her next-door neighbour, as well as a "toxic chemical smell" from the flat.

"I always have to walk with a camera in case he charges at me or something, to protect myself," Ms Tang told The New Paper, adding that she feels unsafe at home. She is not even sure how the conflict began - one day, she said, the neighbour was "unhappy for no reason" and began swearing at them.

The family has tried multiple avenues for help, including writing to the Housing and Development Board (HDB), attempting Community Mediation Centre (CMC) sessions, contacting their Member of Parliament, and filing up to 22 police reports.

However, none have resolved the issue.

"We don't have faith in the system anymore, so we are really helpless," Ms Tang said.

Disputes can become fatal

Neighbourly conflicts are a perennial issue, with some even turning deadly, as one recent dispute over noise ended in a fatal stabbing in Yishun.

Nee Soon GRC MP Jackson Lam told reporters that the alleged assailant's wife had lodged a complaint in July. The matter was also escalated to HDB and the Community Disputes Resolution Tribunals (CDRT), which are specialised courts that handle disputes between neighbours after mediation fails. A planned mediation session at CMC also did not take place.

Conflicts in neighbourhoods have also involved pickleball games in shared spaces and uncleared Seventh Month offerings.

To better manage disputes, a new Community Relations Unit is being piloted in Tampines, which makes mediation mandatory for severe cases of noise-related neighbour disputes.

According to a joint statement by the Ministry of Law and the Ministry of National Development, there were about 2,500 cases of noise complaints from residents about their neighbours each month in the first half of 2025.

About 80 per cent of voluntary mediation cases mediated by the CMC are successfully settled, said the ministries. "From Jan to Aug 2025, the CMC registered 1,106 voluntary neighbour dispute cases, averaging 138 cases monthly. Of this, 166 neighbour dispute cases were mediated and 129 cases (78 per cent) resulted in a settlement."

Other residents report similar disputes

Angie Das, who lives along Beach Road, said that she was physically assaulted in 2022, by a member of a gang of 10 to 15 middle-aged men who use the public garden in front of her flat as a late-night karaoke spot.

"One of the guys got his men to surround me, rested his hand on my chest and said, 'I'm a man, all my members here are men. You are a woman, I can do anything to you if you complain,'" the legal executive in her 30s recounted.

She added that there were later attempts to break into her home and that one of the members threw a dustbin at her, even after she filed multiple police reports.

"It's like I'm left to deal with it on my own," she said, noting that noise complaints are often dismissed as trivial issues.

"I think the government failed to actually see ... the crux of the noise harassment issue is that people are living side by side," Ms Das added, noting that thin walls make noise echo through neighbours' homes, which can lead to heightened emotions as tensions run high.

Infrastructural factors can contribute to noise complaints

Sociologist George Wong of Singapore Management University (SMU) said that infrastructural factors, such as sporting facilities being located close to homes, may increase the likelihood of noise disturbances.

Greater diversity in lifestyles may present more opportunities for friction, said Prof Wong, adding that noise complaints are often non-religious in nature.

"For example, if this religious activity, like a funeral in the void deck, some residents may understand that this is normal," Prof Wong said, suggesting that the same tolerance might not be applied to pickleball games.

An over-reliance on authorities?

Ivan Kwek of the National University of Singapore (NUS) stressed that turning to authorities to mediate conflicts points to "some weaknesses in matters of sociality in our public housing estates".

The sociologist stressed that the process of dealing with conflict teaches communities how to live alongside each other, possibly bringing people closer.

"When some authority becomes the ever-ready default mechanism, we short circuit these social processes," Prof Kwek said. "We stop learning or trying to live with differences, with others, with things we cannot tolerate."

Prof Wong also emphasised the importance of empowering members of the community, such as grassroots leaders, to step in and mediate in conflicts, as they have a better understanding of what is happening on the ground.

"The resident networks do have a role to play in this, as the sensitivities of what it actually is on the ground really matters," he said, noting that many issues often span different jurisdictions and spaces, meaning no single institution can resolve them on its own.

Community ties are vital, stressed sociologist Tan Ern Ser of NUS, as being part of a community develops trust and reciprocity, bringing about a sense of belonging and mutual responsibility.

'Know you're not alone': Residents turn to social media

When reporting to the authorities fails to resolve issues permanently, some take matters into their own hands by turning to social media to air their grievances.

Ms Das manages the @neighboursfromhell TikTok account, which posts daily about residents dealing with noise complaints. She receives three to four reports daily from residents who have exhausted every other option.

"It brought about awareness in a way to know that people are not alone in their experiences, because there's a tendency to feel isolated," she said, saying that most residents feel "empowered" by the online support.

Prof Wong also suggested that some people might turn to social media as an "ascertaining behaviour", to find out if their grievances have legitimate basis.

While such posts increase the visibility of neighbourly disputes, it may also create the perception that authorities are insufficient, leading to "stereotyping behaviour" which may not be good for an informed public.

'It took a long time': Conflicts can be resolved

But not all conflicts remain unresolved.

Ms Tan, a Sembawang resident who endured a long-standing dispute over her neighbour's children crying early in the morning, said that she no longer hears the children's cries.

"The noise has finally subsided now that the children have grown up. My assertiveness over the years has also had an impact; the children have learned to be quieter," she said.

Although it took about two years, she is thankful that the constant noise has now eased.

"It took a long time, but they eventually seemed to understand how disruptive they were," she said. "To this day, I have never heard that kind of extreme, relentless crying again."