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Opening up on his life, Alvin Tan says it’s okay to go for counselling

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Minister of State for Culture, Community and Youth Alvin Tan had to repeat the first year of junior college.

Even after that, he did not score well for his A levels - getting two Ds and a C - and could not attend a local university.

His relationship with his then girlfriend also ended while he was doing his national service.

"I felt really down, very low... when you are in a depressive state, it feels as though you are in a washing machine - you do not know which way is up," said Mr Tan, who went on to get a first class honours degree in economics from the University of Sydney later.

He had friends who helped him through the dark period in his life, he said.

The minister also said it was okay to seek help by attending counselling. He was sharing his experiences with failure in an online discussion on Saturday.

The session, titled Let's Talk About Failure, was organised by the Moulmein-Cairnhill Mental Health Task Force.

The task force is part of the Moulmein-Cairnhill Citizens' Consultative Committee and aims to strengthen mental wellness in the community.

The other panellists were Ms Shilpa Jain, founder of online counselling platform Talk Your Heart Out, and Mr Simon Leow, who co-founded social enterprise Happiness Initiative.

Mr Tan, who is also a grassroots adviser to Tanjong Pagar GRC, said he experienced impostor syndrome when he first became a minister. Impostor syndrome is the belief that one is not as competent as others view one to be.

He addressed this by asking his more experienced peers for help.

"You recognise that you need help, you ask for coaching, and... you start to build (resilience)," he said.

Mr Tan said it was fine for people to seek counselling, adding that he and his wife had done so to improve the quality of their marriage.

"It is not just one shot and a magic pill - you constantly want to give it time, effort and to have a third-party perspective to help you build... something that you cherish," he said.

Psychologist Annabelle Chow, told The Straits Times she was proud of Mr Tan for publicly sharing his experiences with failure.

"I imagine it is very difficult to admit any kind of fragility or vulnerability, especially when you are in (public) office," she said.

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