Illiterate drunk tries to rob bookies, but ends up in fish and chips shop
One thing is sure, he will never be a criminal mastermind.
A drunk man, who is illiterate, botched his robbery of a betting shop after he entered a fish and chips store instead.
Derek Carr had set his sights on holding up a Corals bookie shop in West Lothian, Scotland, after getting his friend to help him write a threatening note on the back of a betting slip.
But the 49-year-old was so inebriated that he wound up in a neighbouring fish and chips stall instead and had to be directed to his intended destination next door by one of the diner's rather helpful employees.
After attracting the attention of witnesses who described him as "clearly under the influence of something", the bumbling Carr eventually walked into the branch that he had targeted at around 6pm.
He approached manager Karen Jamieson and handed her the note, which read: Put the money in the bag or someone will die.
Prosecutor Lewis Crosby told Livingston Sheriff Court that after clarifying Carr's demands, Ms Jamieson stood her ground and refused his request, to which Carr replied with a smirk: "I was only joking."
He then left the store with his carrier bag and note.
Carr admitted to his failed caper in April and is awaiting sentencing while Greg Tod, his friend who wrote the note for him, pleaded not guilty and was acquitted.
In his defence, Carr's lawyer Darryl Lovie said: "The chip shop attendant noticed he had a betting slip in his hand and inquired if he could help him.
"He then realised Mr Carr was in the wrong shop and told him he was in a chip shop not the bookies next door.
"He didn't write the note...Because Mr Carr is illiterate...he didn't know what was on the note, but he was aware of his actions.
"He appreciates the seriousness of his position and has the record of a man who has had a drink and drug problem for a significant period of time."
Carr is due to be sentenced on July 30.
In the meantime, perhaps he should learn from this 100-year-old great grandma from China and give illiteracy the boot...