Likely five to be Rooney's strike partner
Of all contenders, Swede could be United's surprise striker
Louis van Gaal pulls off U-turns faster than Lewis Hamilton.
On Monday, he was satisfied with Wayne Rooney playing the lone ranger up front for Manchester United.
Yesterday, he admitted he was in the market for Tonto.
ON MONDAY: Neil Humphreys wrote in TNP that Louis van Gaal won’t be content with Wayne Rooney as United’s only striker.
In my last column, I suggested he was pulling the wool over our eyes, but no one expected him to pull it off again in less than 24 hours.
Speaking of the unidentified flying object of his affection, the Dutchman said: "He's in the process. It's not the striker the media has written about."
So Rooney can stop humming the lyrics of "All By Myself" and start learning the words to "It Takes Two" instead.
Like a detective in a cliched cop movie, the skipper is about to be saddled with a new partner.
But who is the mystery man?
Here are five contenders.
1 THOMAS MUELLER (Bayern Munich)
Not a conventional centre-forward, the German is one of the most forward-thinking attackers in his position.
Lacking the panache of Lionel Messi and the power of Cristiano Ronaldo, Muller excels by ghosting between the lines to both give and receive, as it were, an unusual combination between a No. 9 and a No. 10.
He's a master of all attacking trades, which would allow van Gaal to play his preferred 4-3-3.
Despite scoring goals across the line for both club and country, Mueller is not quite feeling the love from Pep Guardiola in Munich.
Guardiola can interpret Mueller's attacking variety as a utility player with an impermanent position. But van Gaal makes no secret of his admiration.
Whether Bayern would consent to a second player joining a Champions League rival is debatable, but United can potentially match Mueller's salary and silverware ambitions.
A front three of Mueller, Rooney, Memphis Depay or Juan Mata seems irresistible.
- Potential value to United: 9 (out of 10)
- Chance of being sold to United: 7 (out of 10)
2 PEDRO RODRIGUEZ (Barcelona)
Pedro must contend with that unfair blot on an otherwise flawless resume. Call it the Fernando Torres Contradiction.
Apart from the World Cup and European Championship victories, the three Champions League triumphs and more silver trinkets than the Queen of Spain's bedside drawer, where did it all go wrong, Pedro?
His trophy haul is unrivalled, but the career seems incomplete. Pedro has often been content to huddle with the subs at the Nou Camp.
He's in fine company, but he's 27 now, having spent more than a decade at the club, chalking up 200 appearances without ever really establishing himself.
Van Gaal is unlikely to turn a Barcelona bench-warmer into a bullish target man in the Premier League, suggesting Pedro's role could be wide of Rooney.
The proposition may entice Rooney, but whether the partnership produces enough goals is doubtful.
- Potential value to United: 7
- Chance of being sold to United: 7
3 GONZALO HIGUAIN (Napoli)
Such a reliable hitman, the No. 9 could be tattooed across Higuain's back.
Highly respected across Europe, the Argentinian can be a scoring metronome of consistency. He knocked in 18 goals in 37 appearances last season.
But Higuain can also appear more flummoxed than Fifa president Sepp Blatter at a press conference. He missed a sitter in the final minute of the Copa America final and his penalty-kick during the shoot-out was last spotted on NASA's radar.
United could afford the rumoured £66 million ($140m) release clause in his Napoli contract, but there's a concern he doesn't offer quite enough bang for that much buck.
- Potential value to United: 6
- Chance of being sold to United: 4
4 EDINSON CAVANI (Paris St Germain)
He's anything but a mystery man. His name has been inextricably linked to United for months and his decision will of course depend on an eccentric, egotistical megalomaniac who speaks in riddles and answers to no one except his internal voice.
And that's Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Cavani has played warm-up to the freakish main event, and still managed 56 goals in two seasons at PSG.
But the scoring machine who devoured goals at Napoli like a shark attacking a surfboard maintains a voracious appetite.
He's less concerned with pay cheques than the promise of being the main man.
Besides, PSG do not need to sell him and the Uruguayan has been promised a central role next season, which raises the most outlandish possibility of all…
- Potential value to United: 8
- Chance of being sold to United: 4
5 ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC (Paris St Germain)
They are practically kindred spirits. They both believe in God. That is, they believe in themselves.
They are driven by artistry and arrogance. Compromise is something they leave to lesser, cowardly men.
Ibrahimovic and van Gaal have the makings of a match made in heaven; two giants of the stage bestriding the Theatre of Dreams.
Just a day ago, it was unthinkable. But van Gaal dropped enough hints.
Ibrahimovic really is the last striker you'd think of. No one has mentioned him. And he really is special. He delivers.
For more than 15 years, Ibrahimovic has delivered more often than an obsessive postman.
At 33, he has possibly one more season and one unrealised goal; one final scratch to itch.
He has never played in the Premier League, much less challenged for the title. United promise both. He could still lead the line. He could send United over the line.
Last night, from out of nowhere, British bookmakers slashed the odds from 20-1 to 5-1 for the Swedish superstar to join the Red Devils.
Just the thought of Ibra at Old Trafford was enough to send pulses racing and punters to the bookies.
Van Gaal was certainly smiling yesterday.
He could yet have the greatest last laugh of them all.
- Potential value to United: 8
- Chance of being sold to United: 7
"Van Gaal has been making his intentions very clear this transfer window, doing whatever ittakes to get the players he wants and now it looks like he could be making a move to poach Zlatan from the grasps of frontrunners AC Milan."
— Trader Michael Bowers, of British bookmakers Betfair
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