Neil Humphreys: Get ready for mad musical chairs at ICC Singapore
ICC's hashtag says #ChampionsMeetHere, for ICC S'pore, it might as well read #ChampionsSwopHere
At the final whistle, footballers swop shirts.
At the National Stadium this weekend, one or two might swop clubs instead.
Romelu Lukaku, Christian Eriksen, Paul Pogba and even the absent Mauro Icardi are considering switching sides, which should make for a feisty trip to Singapore.
At this weekend's International Champions Cup (ICC) Singapore, a game of musical chairs could potentially rival the battles on the pitch.
Lukaku is expected to arrive with Manchester United tonight and spend a couple of nights at the Ritz Carlton, before swanning off perhaps with Inter Milan.
Eriksen, who will arrive this morning with Tottenham Hotspur, will presumably be sitting in his Mandarin Oriental hotel room like a homesick exchange student, waiting for a call from his agent about extra cash and a summer trip to Turin.
Juventus are reportedly circling the Spurs midfielder, which won't be a particularly exhausting exercise, considering they arrive on Saturday and are staying at Swissotel The Stamford, just up the road from Eriksen at the Mandarin Oriental.
If the wind blows in the right direction, Juventus' power brokers could practically shout their offer across City Hall to Eriksen.
But they'll have to shout a little louder to reach the ears of Icardi.
The striker's Inter teammates are already ensconced in the JW Marriott, which is a short stroll from Juve at Swissotel.
But Icardi isn't here.
New Inter coach Antonio Conte seems to have a relationship with Icardi that falls somewhere between his famous fallout with Diego Costa and an irritable bowel.
The two men essentially have no relationship, so much so that Inter confirmed, via a terse tweet, that their Argentine striker was not coming to Singapore.
Icardi was sent back to Milan, tail between legs, beautiful wife and agent on arm, and told to train with the reserves.
Inter won't miss Icardi, but Singapore may miss his remarkable wife. Wanda Nara is a model, a TV presenter and Icardi's agent.
She is reportedly negotiating a deal with Juve, back in Italy.
Nara insists she is a revolutionary, a female agent making progress in a masculine world drowning in testosterone.
Since she became her husband's representative, Icardi has been stripped of his Inter captaincy, exiled from the squad, booted off the pre-season tour and seen his transfer value plummet.
So the revolution is going well.
And negotiations are flagging, according to Italian media, which have established a tenuous link between Icardi and Tottenham.
If Eriksen joins Juve - a possible scenario if they fail to land Pogba - the Italian champions could lack the funds to sign Icardi, who may become a target for the flush money men at Tottenham, thanks to Eriksen's sale to Juve.
Did you get all that?
Never mind the new Lion King, the Circle of Life is playing at the National Stadium, with more rotations than an overworked turnstile.
At least Lukaku's shirt swop looks comparatively straightforward.
Inter coach Conte fancies him. United coach Ole Gunner Solskjaer doesn't.
The only sticking point is the striker's valuation.
Conte reveres muscular battering rams like Lukaku, patrolling the penalty box like an Italian doorman chucking out drunks at closing time.
But Inter want to pay £40 million (S$67.6m), with any add-ons to come later.
Solskjaer prefers faster, leaner poachers, capable of nipping between the lines, which are not qualities typically associated with Lukaku.
So, naturally, the Red Devils are reportedly demanding £75 million for a striker they don't really want.
When Inter and United meet, watch every cameraman in Kallang train a lens on Lukaku at the final whistle. They want him in an Inter shirt.
Solskjaer will presumably remove his striker early, which wasn't an unusual tactic last season anyway.
Apart from musical chairs, the other kiddie game at the National Stadium will be the latest round of "pass the Pogba".
The French parcel has been passed from club to club for weeks in an interminable media circle.
First it's Real Madrid. Then it's Juve. Then it's back to United. And on again to Real… Juve… United!
Pogba's agent Mino Raiola remains the crafty parent at his little boy's birthday, manipulating the game until his kid gets the prize he craves.
Raiola lurks behind the media circle, stopping and starting the music whenever he wants to increase the sense of jeopardy.
It's a kid's game, but the grown-ups are no less hooked, partly because no one inside the National Stadium has any idea how this thing will play out for Pogba, Lukaku, Eriksen and the missing Icardi.
Like a party at the Playboy Mansion, one or two superstars may show up with one partner but leave with someone else entirely.