Neil Humphreys: No defence, no hope for Jose
United won't make top four with brittle back four
Jose Mourinho is no longer a broken record. He's the incessant, irritating muzak in every shopping mall, a repetitive screech that no one wants to hear any more.
| BRIGHTON | MAN UNITED |
| 3 | 2 |
| (Glenn Murray 25, Shane Duffy 27, Pascal Gross 44-pen) | (Romelu Lukaku 34, Paul Pogba 90+4 pen) |
The Manchester United manager will inevitably blame his club's lack of activity in the transfer market for their abysmal 3-2 defeat at Brighton this morning (Singapore time).
Certainly, Victor Lindelof and Eric Bailly were like breadcrumbs left on Brighton beach, easy pickings for the ravenous Seagulls.
But they are Mourinho's breadcrumbs. He bought them. Now he'll probably discard them. He'll blame them for their ineptitude or he'll turn on the men upstairs for failing to buy Harry Maguire.
But he can't escape culpability this time. This shocking defeat is down to him.
Mourinho's traditional third-season decline threatens to become a third-season disaster. Finishing in the top four seems a fanciful ambition after this defensive fiasco.
Brighton scored three times in 44 minutes, underlining how inept the Red Devils are becoming under Mourinho.
Three soft goals from opponents who failed to muster a single shot on target in their defeat by Watford last week is a sign of United's growing despair.
From front to back, mediocrity rules in the red half of Manchester.
Paul Pogba, Andreas Pereira and Fred were overrun in midfield. Pereira didn't return in the second half.
On United's right flank, Juan Mata and Ashley Young were easily bypassed. Mata didn't return in the second half.
And watching Lindelof and Bailly is like watching Crazy Rich Asians. They're entertaining enough as comical caricatures, but not an accurate representation of what's expected in their environment.
Brighton needed just 25 minutes to highlight the holes in United's defence, when Glenn Murray suffered a spectacular identity crisis.
For one, spellbinding moment, the workmanlike forward confused himself for Lionel Messi.
Solly March scampered along Brighton's left, Young nipped out for a tea break and March took full advantage with a fine low cross.
But there was still plenty to do when Murray dashed in front of a dozing Lindelof to nonchalantly flick the ball past David de Gea.
Two minutes later, United were two down. If Brighton's first was the result of Murray's improvisation, then the second was down to United's defensive idiocy.
From Pascal Gross' corner, the Red Devils had several chances to clear, but fluffed every one of them, allowing Shane Duffy to bundle home.
Brighton had never looked more vibrant. Mourinho looked ready to vomit. The longer he hangs around, the more his men in red resemble confused imposters.
Even in their imperial phase, United didn't always dominate games, but they seldom appeared so disjointed and unsure of themselves.
At the risk of stating the obvious, Brighton are not Barcelona. But the jittery play of their opponents suggested otherwise.
United reduced the deficit in the 34th minute, when Romelu Lukaku nodded in, but the contest was otherwise an ordeal for the visitors.
Murray, a seasoned, 34-year-old battering ram, treated Lindelof and Bailly as if they were scrawny kids in the schoolyard and he was stealing their lunch money.
Bailly, in particular, didn't look like a United centre-back. When he conceded a panic-stricken penalty in the 42nd minute, he didn't look like a centre-back at all.
Instead, he turned into a lumberjack, treating Gross like a tembusu tree.
One chopped down the other. The other got up and smashed in the spot-kick and United were left in a reeking mess of their manager's making.
Within an hour, Mourinho had brought on Marcus Rashford for Mata, Jesse Lingard for Pereira and Marouane Fellaini for the anonymous Anthony Martial.
The timing reeked of desperation. The choices epitomised Mourinho's lack of options. In 2018, Fellaini is still being called upon to chase lost causes.
Pogba knocked in an injury-time penalty to reduce the deficit, but Brighton held on, quite comfortably.
Their manager, Chris Hughton has a clear game plan and a committed dressing room. Mourinho has neither.
As United plodded towards humiliation, their screaming coach waved his arms like a neurotic windmill.
It's a tired act with a familiar ending.
At this rate, United won't reach the top four and Mourinho won't reach the end of the season.
Get The New Paper on your phone with the free TNP app. Download from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store now