Why Rodgers thinks he's better than Mourinho
At Stamford Bridge tonight, Liverpool will give Chelsea a guard of honour to acknowledge the Blues' title triumph.
This may confuse Brendan Rodgers. He thinks he's the greatest manager in the history of... Brendan Rodgers.
So he had a chat with Jose Mourinho to set the record straight. Here's what they almost certainly would have said.
Rodgers (walking in, singing): I'm simply the best, better than all the rest.
Mourinho: Ah, Tina Turner.
Rodgers: No, Brendan Rodgers. I used to work for you, remember?
Mourinho: No, I meant the song. Simply the Best. It was Tina Turner.
Rodgers: It's a song? Really? That's just something I sing at the training ground.
Mourinho: But it sounds strange when you sing it in front of me, what with the title victory and the guard of honour later on.
Rodgers: But I'm the best man for the job. I'm the best man to manage Liverpool Football Club.
Mourinho: Maybe, but you look a bit silly saying it in front of me, right?
Rodgers: I'm the best man for the job. I'm the best man to manage Liverpool Football Club.
Mourinho: Why do you keep saying that?
Rodgers: Oh sorry, it's a reflex action. Whenever I get asked a question, I just say that I'm the best man for the job.
Mourinho: You answer every question with that response?
Rodgers: If it's about me, sure. If it's about the team, I always say I'm very proud of my players, very proud of their performance.
Mourinho: What did you say after the 0-0 draw with West Brom?
Rodgers: I was very proud of my players, very proud of...
Mourinho: Yes, yes, all right, I get it. What do you want, Brendan?
Rodgers: Ah yes, well, it's a bit of a delicate matter. After you won the title against Crystal Palace, it was said that you are the best manager in the EPL. I'm just making sure it won't be said again today.
Rodgers: Because I'm the best manager in the Premier League. I'm the best man for a Premier League job.
Mourinho: Are you a ventriloquist's dummy? Is someone controlling what you say?
Rodgers: No, it's just my accent. I'm from Northern Ireland.
Mourinho: You're from a different planet.
Rodgers: No, no, it's across the Irish Sea.
Mourinho: Sit down, Brendan. I'm saying this because I like you. I like you because I usually get six points out of you and you are no threat to me.
Rodgers: Hey, Chelsea have always been lucky against Liverpool.
Mourinho: Please. You couldn't be any easier to read if you came in a 100-point font.
Rodgers: I like big fonts on my team sheet. They make my squad look bigger.
Mourinho: Listen, Brendan. You blew it last year and you dropped out of the top four this year. You replaced Luis Suarez with inferior talent. You sold Elvis and bought the Muppets.
Rodgers: I like the Muppets. Animal was my favourite, the mad one who stomped around. Do you remember him?
Mourinho: Of course. You bought him for £16 million ($33m) and put him up front.
Rodgers: So what's your point?
Mourinho: My point is you can't go around saying you're the best man for the job. You haven't won anything in three years.
Rodgers: Everyone's got a short memory. I'm building from the bottom here.
Mourinho: It didn't take this long to build the Pyramids.
Rodgers: Those pharaohs had a bigger budget.
Mourinho: Those pharaohs didn't sign Rickie Lambert.
Rodgers: OK, look, I'll stop saying I'm the best man for the job if you stop saying you're the best manager in the Premier League.
Mourinho: I've just won the Premier League title, Brendan.
Rodgers: Don't get technical with me. I'm still the best man to manage Liverpool, right?
Mourinho: Are the owners expecting you to win the title next season?
Rodgers: No, of course not.
Mourinho: Then you are definitely the best man to manage Liverpool.