How Singapore football is like the Hainanese Chicken Burger
What an embarrassment for Singapore.
How could the powers that be let this happen in public for all the world to see?
It was so humiliating.
As a Singaporean, I didn't know who to root for.
I was torn by conflicting emotions. Or is it a conflict of interest?
On the one hand, the country comes first.
On the other hand, Argentina was the team we wanted to see at the National Stadium last Tuesday.
This headline on the UK's Daily Mail website didn't give us any face: "Singapore 0-6 Argentina: Jorge Sampaoli's bizarre 2-3-5 formation wreaks havoc as six different scorers net against hapless hosts".
Singapore getting beaten up by a foreign power seems to be a recurring theme in the news of late.
In this case, some Singaporeans were even rooting for the foreign power as many Singaporean fans wore Argentina colours to the friendly match.
And it wasn't just the spectators.
Two Singapore players asked for the jerseys of two Argentina players as they were walking off the pitch at half-time.
Perhaps the Singapore players wanted to switch teams for the second half.
Which is understandable, considering the final result.
And the state of Singapore football in general.
While it may be seen as ironic that the match was organised to commemorate the Football Association of Singapore's 125th anniversary, it is actually quite fitting as the outcome of the match perfectly illustrates the decrepitude of Singapore football after 125 years.
Nobody likes to be on the losing team.
But then you got to dance with the one that brung ya.
It is like when Burger King introduced its Hainanese Tendergrill Chicken and Rendang burgers at the same time recently.
As a Hainanese person, I was naturally excited to finally have a burger named after my dialect.
For too long, just as Singaporeans have been enamoured by foreign football teams, we have been slobbering over foreign burgers such as McDonald's Samurai and KFC's Spicy Korean burgers.
And don't get me started on french fries.
The problem is, because Burger King introduced the Hainanese and Rendang burgers at the same time, you can't help but compare the two.
But like Singapore versus Argentina, it was no contest.
The Rendang burger is a returning favourite. Burger King even learnt from previous mistakes by leaving out the mayonnaise this time.
The fast-food chain probably read my 2013 column where I wrote: "Rendang with mayo is a crime against nature and all taste buds."
The Hainanese burger is a new product and, like the Singapore football team, a disappointment.
It is basically just a grilled chicken burger with some weird ginger sauce.
So, as a Hainanese person, I am torn by conflicting emotions.
Should I order the Hainanese burger again just because I'm Hainanese?
Or should I try to switch teams like those two Singapore players and get the Rendang burger because it is so much better?
I will need to form a committee to look into this.