Xmas gifts for the EPL: Naughty or nice?
Santa's in a generous mood, and here are his presents for the EPL boys
Yesterday being Christmas Day, the big guy rewarded the good boys and punished the naughty ones.
But enough about Roman Abramovich, let's talk about Santa Claus.
He made a list. He checked it twice. And that was just Louis van Gaal making another weird team selection.
But here's what Santa really gave out to our friends in the football world...
LOUIS VAN GAAL - Man City season ticket
The Manchester United manager believes his club no longer have the right to expect trophies every season.
City supporters would agree with him. He's made United slow, dull and unpopular.
City fans couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present unless the Kardashians popped up wearing nothing but a couple of Christmas puddings and singing "Blue Moon".
Van Gaal and Ryan Giggs could, of course, play the puddings.
JAMIE VARDY - A signed photo from Tiger Woods
Apparently, the injured golfer was the last athlete to score 11 in a row.
Sometimes, he even found time to play golf too.
Woods has allegedly contacted the Foxes striker and commended his achievement, pointing out that he, too, used to be known as a fox in the box. But he may have been referring to something else.
OLIVIER GIROUD - Santa Claus costume
Like the big man, Giroud is bearded, very popular around Christmas time, but not really taken seriously for the rest of the year.
WAYNE ROONEY - A prized piece of the penalty-box turf from Old Trafford
He hasn't seen much of it this season.
ARSENE WENGER - A Christmas Carol on DVD
The Arsenal manager enjoys the tight-fisted story of Ebenezer Scrooge. Wenger thinks it's an uplifting documentary.
CHRISTIAN BENTEKE - A GPS device
At the moment, the Liverpool striker wouldn't be able to find the opponents' goal with a map and a compass.
TNP ILLUSTRATIONS: CEL GULAPA
MANUEL PELLEGRINI - A PAIR OF SCISSORS
The Manchester City manager seems like a thoroughly decent chap, but the Seventies porn look is too much of a distraction.